Deah Sarah Paylin,

Mye nayme iz Tobee and Ize am a kat. Ize hav mye vewy own langwij, cawld Tobee Speek. Ize wanted tah wryte tah u cuz Ize wuz wunderin if u wud be yntarezded in zwitchin yur fuhst langwij frum Inglish tah Tobee Speek.

Ize tink da tranzishun might be an eazy wun foah u. Theah r summ azpektz ov yur speech witch awlready conform tah Tobee Speek rewellz. Foah instandz, u awlready korrektlee drop da "g" frum wurds lyke "dancin" and "playin". U alzo hav a vewy nyce zing songy voice, witch iz helpful whin speaking Tobee Speek. Amee, mye owner, always talks tah mee in a zing songy voice, datz ow Ize kno itz gud.

Lastly, Ize wanted tah compelmint u awn yur unique yews ov sentinz structure. Ize am tinking aboot uzin summ ov id az a model foah mye own speech. Sentences lyke, "John MikCain, in refurrin tah da fundumentul ov owah ecominee being strong, he wuz tawkun tah and he wuz tawkun aboot da Amayericun wukforz ." Alzo, "And I've joynd dais teem dat iz a teem ov mavrikz wid John MikCain, alzo, wid hiz trak record ov reform, wheah we're nown foah puttin pardizen polotikz aside tah juz getz da job dun ." Ize must admit dat Ize am a yiddle convoozed by wat a "teem ov mavrikz" iz, butz Ize lyke da way id zoundz.

Zo, pleaze tink aboot mye offer ov zwitchin tah Tobee Speek az yur fuhst langwij. Ize thod Ize wud offer zins id zeems dat u r having suech a hahd tyme wid da Inglish langwij. Tink aboot id :-)

A Fellow Mavrik, Tobee