(FORT WORTH, TX) Inside sources at Fort Worth Industrial Spies, Inc. have released previously unknown information about the new computer said to be in the works at the Tandy Corporation, another Fort Worth company.

I-Spy's report concludes that the basis of the new machine will be a previously unheard of MC68813 microprocessor, a chip so powerful that it is said to use a 220v power bus, and will come complete with a low-yield nuclear power plant for portable operation.

In addition to the above features of the 68813, research analysts say that the new macroprocessor will include the ultimate in addressing architecture, with 161 easy to remember addressing modes.

Some of the new opcodes for the 68813 are:

  • AAG Alter All Commands
  • AAR Alter At Random
  • AB Add Backwards
  • ABBA Play Swedish Rock
  • ADGB Add Garbage
  • AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant
  • AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
  • AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
  • BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
  • BAD Bark At Dog
  • BAF Blow All Fuses
  • BAH Branch And Hang
  • BBL Branch and Blow Lightbulb
  • BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
  • BDC Break Down and Cry
  • BDT Burn Down Tree
  • BF Belch Five
  • BFEI Beg For Expansion Interface
  • BLI Branch and Loop Infinite - requires 5 less machine cycles than BCIL
  • BMUS Beam Me Up, Scotty
  • BPB Branch on Program Bug
  • BPO Branch if Power Off
  • BPM Begin Pirate Mode
  • BRN Burn SAM chip
  • BSW Branch on Slightest Whim
  • BW Branch on Whim
  • CBNC Close, But No Cigar
  • CFP Call For Programmer
  • CFPC Call For Programmer, Collect
  • CH Create Havoc
  • CLD Try to Cool Down SAM chip
  • CMD Create Meaningless Data
  • CML Compute Meaning of Life
  • CMS Catch Mouse
  • CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown
  • CNP Call National Parts
  • COLB Crash on Operator's Lunch Break
  • CPB Create Program Bug
  • CPM Create Program Manual
  • CRASH Continue Running After Stop or Halt
  • CRN Convert to Roman Numerals
  • CS Crash System
  • CSD Create Static Discharge
  • CSL Curse and Swear Loudly
  • DAO Divide And Overflow
  • DBZ Divide By Zero
  • DDC Dally During Calculations
  • DEVO Start New Wave (Sine)
  • DMPE Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.
  • DLN Don't Look Now
  • DOC Drive Operator Crazy
  • DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
  • DPR Destroy Program
  • DTC Destroy This Command
  • DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left
  • DW Destroy World
  • ECO Electrocute Computer Operator
  • EIAO Execute In Any Order
  • EIP Erase If Pirated
  • ENF Emit Noxious Fumes
  • EP Execute Programmer
  • EROS Erase Read Only Storage
  • ETOY Emulate ZX-81
  • FLI Flash Lights Impressively
  • FSM Fold, Spindle and Mutilate
  • GCAR Get Correct Answer, Regardless
  • GDP Grin Defiantly at Programmer
  • HCF Halt and Catch Fire
  • HFA Hire From Atari
  • HFC Hide From Children
  • HIC Help Intel Chip
  • IAD Illogical Add
  • IBM Interrupt Bad Mnemonics
  • IOR Illogical Or
  • ISC Insert Sarcastic Comments
  • JOF Jump On Floor
  • JOM Jump On Motorola
  • JOT Jump On Table
  • JTZ Jump to Twilight Zone
  • LAP Laugh At Programmer
  • LPA Lead Programmer Astray
  • MAZ Multiply Answer by Zero
  • MDB Multiply and Drop Bits
  • MW Malfunction Whenever
  • MWK Multiply Work
  • MWT Malfunction Without Telling
  • NOPE Refuse to Do Anything
  • OCD Open Commode-Dor
  • OML Obey Murphy's Law
  • PAS Print And Smear
  • PEHC Punch Extra Holes in Card
  • PIP Pulverize Peripheral Interface
  • PNRP Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
  • PSD Perform Safety Dance
  • RA Randomize Answer
  • RBD Read and Break Disk
  • RBT Read and Break Tape
  • RCB Read Commands Backwards
  • RDA Refuse to Disclose Answer
  • REST Relax For 25 Cycles
  • RLI Rotate Left Indefinitely
  • RPM Read Programmer's Mind
  • RRSGWSSNK Round and Round She Goes ... Where She Stops, No One Knows
  • RTR Refuse To Run
  • RTM Return To Motorola
  • RTT Return To Tandy
  • RSD Read and Scramble Data
  • RWD Read and reWind Disk
  • SAI Skip All Instructions
  • SCCA Set to Short Circuit on Correct Answer
  • SFH Set Flags to Half Mast
  • SFT Stall For Time
  • SOS Sign Off, Stupid
  • SRDR Shift Right, Double Ridiculous
  • SRZ Subtract and Reset to Zero
  • STD Stop Turning Disk
  • TALK Turn on Speech Synthesis
  • TARC Take Arithmetic Review Course
  • TOIL Turn Off Indicator Lights
  • TN Take Nap
  • TPDH Tell Programmer to Do it Him/Her Self
  • TPR Tear Paper
  • TTA Try Try Again
  • UP Understand Program
  • WED Write and Erase Data
  • WOJ Wear Out Joystick
  • WSWW Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways
  • XBRA Call Dolly Parton
  • XIO Execute Invalid OpCode