Lee's Funnies

                                                          

                          Bass ball 

A local symphony orchestra was performing Beethoven's Ninth. 
In the piece, there's a long passage of about 20 minutes 
during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather 
than sit around that whole time looking stupid, they decided 
to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick 
one. After slamming several beers in quick succession, as 
bass players are prone to do, one of them looked at his 
watch. "Hey! We need to get back!" 

"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist. "I thought we 
might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of 
the conductor's score together with string. It'll take him a 
few minutes to get it untangled." 

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall 
and took their places in the orchestra. 

About this time, a member of the audience noticed the 
conductor seemed a bit edgy, and said as much to her 
companion. 

"Well, of course," replied her companion. "Don't you see? 
It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the 
basses are loaded."


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