Lee's Funnies

                                                          

             Church Bulletins and Newsletters

1. Don't let worry kill you: let the church help.

2. Thursday night - pot luck supper, prayer and medication 
to follow.

3. Remember in prayer, so many who are sick of our church 
and community.

4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we 
have a nursery downstairs.

5. The rosebud on the alter is to announce the birth of 
David Beltzer, sin of Rev. and Mrs. Beltzer.

6. This afternoon there will be meetings at both the north 
and south ends of the church. Children will be baptized at 
both ends.

7. Thursday night will be an ice-cream social at 7:30. The 
ladies giving milk are asked to be here by 4:30.

8. Wed. night the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Jones will 
sing "put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9. Thursday night will be a meeting of the little mothers.  
Those wishing to become little mothers see the pastor in his 
private study.

10. This being Easter, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come 
forward and lay an egg on the alter.

11. The service will close with the singing of "Little Drops 
of Water". One of the ladies will start out quietly, and the 
rest of the congregation will join in.

12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be take to defray 
some of the cost of the new carpet. Those wishing to do 
something special on the carpet will come forward and take a 
piece of paper.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing. They 
may be seen in the basement.

14. A bean supper will be held on Wednesday. Music to 
follow.

15. At the evening service the topic will be "What is Hell?" 
Come early and hear the choir practice.

16. Weight Watchers will meet Friday night. All those 
attending please use the double doors at the side of the 
building.

17. The spring counsel retreat will be hell on May 11 & 12.

18. Pastor is on vacation: massages may be given to the 
secretary.

19. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to 
several new members and the deterioration of some older 
ones.

20. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for 
testes.

21. The senior membership of the choir invite any members 
of the congregation that enjoy sinning to join the choir.

22. Please join us in supporting Amy and Alan in preparing 
for the girth of their new baby.

23. Scouts are saving cans, bottles, and items to be 
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

24. The Bishopric unveiled the church's new tithing slogan 
last Sunday. "I upped my pledge ... up yours."
                                   

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