Lee's Funnies

I know that many of you are consultants, and that you have probably seen
this before, but it still cracks me up ...

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the
edge of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a
halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes,
Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets
out and asks the shepherd, "If I can tell you how many sheep you have,
will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the grazing sheep and
replies, "Okay." The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the
mobile-fax, enters a NASA website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens
a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables,
then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He
turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep here." The
shepherd answers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young
man takes an animal and puts it in the back of his Porsche.

The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will
you return my animal to me?" The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The
shepherd says, "You are a consultant." "How did you know?" asks the
young man. "Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here
without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something
I already knew. Third, you don't understand anything about my business.
Now can I have my dog back?"


Click here to return to the main page