Lee's Funnies

                                                     

A Glossary Of Data Processing Jobs

Data Processing Manager: Leaps tall buildings in a single 
bound, Is more powerful than a locomotive, Faster than a 
speeding bullet, Walks on water, Gives policy to God

Assistant Data Processing Manager: Leaps short buildings in 
a single bound, Is more powerful than a switch engine, Just 
as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water if sea is calm, 
Talks with God

Senior Systems Analyst: Leaps short buildings with a running 
start and good wind, Is almost as powerful as a switch 
engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water 
in an indoor swimming pool, Talks with God if special 
request is approved

Systems Analyst: Barely clears a quonset hut, Loses tug of 
war with locomotive, Can fire a speeding bullet, Swims well, 
Talks with God only when spoken to

Lead Programmer: Makes high marks on wall when trying to 
leap over tall buildings, Is run over by locomotive, Can 
sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury, Dog 
paddles, Talks with animals

Senior Programmer: Runs into buildings, Recognizes 
locomotives two out of three times, Is not issued 
ammunition, Can stay afloat with a life jacket, Talks to 
walls

Maintenance Programmer: Falls over door step when trying to 
enter tall buildings, Says "look at the choo-choo", Wets 
himself with a water pistol, Plays in mud puddles, Mumbles 
to himself

Programmer: Lifts up buildings and walks under them, Kicks 
trains off their tracks, Catches speeding bullets with his 
teeth and eats them, Freezes water with a glance, He is 
GOD!!!


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