Lee's Funnies
Elephant Jokes!
Q: Who weighs 6000 pounds and wears glass slippers? A: Cinderelephant.
Q: What's big and grey and can fly straight up? A: An elecopter.
Q: What do elephants do for entertainment? A: Watch elevision.
Q: How do elephants communicate? A: They talk on the elephone.
Q: How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? A:
Look for his footprints in the cheesecake.
Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for two sets of footprints side by side.
Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator? A: None: there are
already too many elephants in there.
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagon Beetle? A: Open the
door, insert elephant, close door.
Q: How do you get 4 elephants in a Volkswagon? A: Two in the front
and two in the back.
Q: How do you know if an elephant is visiting your house? A: There is
a Volkswagon parked outside with 3 elephants in it.
Q: How do you get 8 elephants in a refrigerator? A: Put 4 elephants
in one Volkswagon, put four elephants in another Volkswagon, and put
the two Volkswagons in the refrigerator.
Q: But two Volkswagons won't fit in a refrigerator. A: There were two
elephants in there, and a Volkswagon isn't as big as an elephant!
Q: How do you get two Tarzans in the refrigerator? A: You can't.
There is only one Tarzan!
Q: How do you make an elephant float? A: With two scoops of
ice-cream, a bottle of cream soda and an elephant.
Q: Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled? A: Because if they
were small, white and smooth they would be aspirins.
Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses? A: So he wouldn't be
recognized.
Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill? A:
Nothing.He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark
sunglasses.
Q: What did the cat say to the elephant? A: Meow.
Q: Why do elephants wear red toenail polish? A: Oops, sorry, no
Polish jokes allowed.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red? A: So they can hide in
the strawberry patch.
Q: But there aren't any elephants in the strawberry patch! A: See,
their camouflage is working.
Q: How do you get an elephant to the top of an oak tree? A: Plant an
acorn under him and wait 50 years.
Q: What if I don't want to wait 50 years? A: Put a parachute on the
elephant and drop him from an elecopter.
Q: How do you get an elephant down from an oak tree? A: Tell him to
sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.
Q: Why are alligators long and flat? A: They must have gotten too
close to the oak tree.
Q: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian
elephant? A: About 3000 miles.
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and a flea? A: An
elephant can have fleas, but a flea can't have elephants.
Q: What's the difference between an elephant and an egg? A: If you
don't know, I hope you don't do the grocery shopping!
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? A: It was the chicken's day
off.
Q: Why did the Frenchman sprinkle salt on the road? A: To keep
elephants away.
Q: But there are no elephants in France. A: See, it's working!
Q: What do you do with a blue elephant? A: Cheer him up.
Q: Where is the best place to see a herd of charging elephants? A: On
elevision.
Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit
cards.
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