Lee's Funnies

                                                     

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was 
told the loan would be granted if he could prove 
satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as 
collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, 
which took the lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the 
following reply (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan 
application, we note that the request is supported by an 
Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in 
which you have prepared and presented the application, we 
must point out that you have only cleared title to the 
proposed collateral proper back to 1803. Before final 
approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the 
title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been 
received. I note that you wish to have title extended 
further than the 194 years covered by the present 
application. I was unaware that any educated person in this 
country, particularly those working in the property area, 
would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from 
France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our 
application. For the edification of uninformed FHA 
bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership 
was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of 
Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain 
by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain 
named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the 
privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then 
reigning monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious 
woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, 
took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope 
before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now 
the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus 
Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, 
created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to 
presume that He also made that part of the world called 
Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I 
hope to hell you find His original claim to be satisfactory. 
Now, may we have our loan?"

They got it ...


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