Lee's Funnies

                                                     

RULES THAT GUYS WISH THAT GIRLS KNEW ...

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an 
answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. 

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of 
the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think 
of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear 
is fine. 

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle 
hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious 
hints don't work. Just say it! 

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark 
anniversaries on a calendar. 

Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd 
be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would 
look good with your dress? 

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every 
question. 

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. 
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are 
for. 

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 

Check your oil. 

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the 
quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz. 

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of 
the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 

All men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a 
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. 

We're not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of 
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care 
about you. 

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act 
like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just 
not worth the hassle. 


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