Lee's Funnies

                       Happy New Year
					   
May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your
cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your
proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your gynecologist,
your plumber and the IRS.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks
not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your
cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not
rise.

May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere in the rush
hour in less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a
parking space.

May Friday evening, December 31st, find you seated around the dinner
table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends,
ushering in the new year ahead. You will find the food better, the
environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more
fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

May you wake up on January 1st, finding that the world has not come to
an end, the lights work, the water faucets flow, and the sky has not
fallen.

May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January 3rd and find your
account is in order, your money is still there and any mistakes are in
your favor.

May you ponder on January 4th: How did this ultramodern civilization
of ours manage to get itself traumatized by a possible slip of a blip
on a chip made out of sand.

May God give you the strength to go through a year of presidential
campaigning, and may some of the promises made be kept. May you
believe at least half of what the candidates propose, and may those
elected fulfill at least half of what they promise, and the miracle of
reducing taxes and balancing budgets happens.

May you be awestruck by God's sense of humor as you wrestle with the
possibility that a professional wrestler could become president of the
United States.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you
delight them.

May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your
blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish
dinner, and may your checkbook and your budget balance, and may they
include generous amounts for charity.

May we live as God intended, in a world at peace and the awareness of
His love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every
baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing,
miraculous beat of our heart.

Author Unknown


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