Lee's Funnies

 

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does
he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
called Holes?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you
get a Philip's Screwdriver?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your
two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to
begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano call a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?

If horrific mean to make horrible, doesn't terrific mean to make
terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do." is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners
depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in
the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has
wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?


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