Lee's Funnies

                                                     

What follows must have been written by a man, so ladies 
forgive me.

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than 
his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find 
such a man.

STYLE: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. 
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

MONEY MANAGEMENT: A man is a person who will pay two dollars 
for a one dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one dollar 
for a two dollar item that she doesn't want.

HAPPINESS: To be happy with a man you must understand him a 
lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must 
love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

MARRIAGE EXPECTATIONS: A woman marries a man expecting he 
will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting 
that she won't change and she does.

MARRIAGE DECISIONS: Men marry because they are tired. Women 
marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

MARRIAGE AND THE FUTURE: A woman worries about the future 
until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the 
future until he gets a wife.

MEMORIES: A woman will always cherish the memory of the man 
who wanted to marry her. A man cherishes the memory of the 
woman he didn't marry.

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN: There are two times when a man doesn't 
understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

WHAT A WOMAN WANTS: Only two things are necessary to keep 
one's wife happy ... - One is to let her think she is having 
her own way. - The other is to let her have it.

LONGEVITY: Married men live longer than single men, but 
married men are a lot more willing to die.

MISTAKES: Any married man should forget his mistakes - no 
use two people remembering the same thing.

THE BATTLE: A woman always has the last word in any 
argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of 
a new argument.


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