Lee's Funnies

NEW YORK (AP) -- The New York Mets announced today that they are going
to court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the
World Series.

The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press
conference earlier today.  They were joined by members of the Major
League Players Union.  "We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee
pitchers," said the Mets batting coach, "We were confused by the
irregularities of the pitches we received and believe we have been
denied our right to hit."

One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets
batters had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at
curve balls. It was clear that these batters never intended to swing
at curve balls, though a much higher percentage were not confused by
the pitches.  Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the
Mets had extensively reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to
the World Series and had in fact faced the Yankees in inter-league
play earlier in the year.

"The fact remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us
of our right to hit," said the Mets batting coach.  "The World Series
is not over yet and the Yankees are celebrating prematurely."

Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World
Series games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the umpires
of each game.

"While some of the strikes called against the Mets were, in fact,
balls, there were not enough of them to change the outcome of the
World Series," the commissioner said. 

Another portion of the Mets legal claim stated that, based on on-base
percentage, the Mets had actually won the World Series, regardless of
the final scores of the games.  "It's clear that we were slightly
on-base more often than the Yankees," said a Mets spokesman.  "The
World Series crown is rightly ours."

The manager of the Mets has remained in relative seclusion, engaging
in some light jogging for exercise.  He has stated that he believes
"we need to let the process run its course without a rush to
judgment."


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