Lee's Funnies

                                                     

             Murphy's Laws And Other Observations

                         Murphy's Laws

1. If anything can go wrong, it will.

2. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, 
the one that will cause the most damage will be the first 
one to go wrong.

3. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

4. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in 
which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a 
fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

5. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

6. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously 
overlooked something.

7. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

8. Mother Nature is a bitch.

            O'Toole's Commentary On Murphy's Laws

Murphy was an optimist.

                    Ginsberg's Theorems

1. You can't win.

2. You can't break even.

3. You can't even quit the game.

          Forsyth's Second Corollary To Murphy's Laws

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the 
roof caves in.

                    Addition To Murphy's Laws

In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if right ... 
something is wrong.

                        Weiler's Law

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it 
himself.

                   Golub's Laws Of Computerdom

1. Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid embarrassment 
of estimating the corresponding costs.

2. A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to 
complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes 
only twice as long.

3. The effort required to correct course increases 
geometrically with time.

4. Project teems detest weekly progress reporting because it so
vividly manifests their lack of progress.

                 Gilb's Laws Of Unreliability

1. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more 
unreliable.

2. Any system that depends upon human reliability is unreliable.

3. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast 
to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.


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