Lee's Funnies

                                                     

Children's Answers in Music Education:

Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part 
you better not try to sing.

A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present.

Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He 
was rather large.

Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so 
deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest 
even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not 
hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from 
this.

Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever 
heard of.

Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary 
composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers 
do not live until they are dead.

An opera is a song of bigly size.

In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the 
one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, 
and they all live happily ever after.

When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit 
any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to 
keep it from hurting.

Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel.

I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say.

Caruso was at first an Italian. Then someone heard his voice 
and said He would go a long way. And so he came to America.

A good orchestra is always ready to play if the conductor 
steps on the odium.

Morris dancing is a country survival from times when people 
were happy.

Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written 
long ago.

Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the 
Hatfields and McCoys.

My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby.

My favorite composer is Opus.

A harp is a nude piano.

A tuba is much larger than its name.

Instruments come in many sizes, shapes and orchestras.

You should always say celli when you mean there are two or 
more cellos.

Another name for kettle drums is timpani. But I think I will 
just stick With the first name and learn it good.

A trumpet is an instrument when it is not an elephant sound.

While trombones have tubes, trumpets prefer to wear valves.

The double bass is also called the bass viol, string bass, 
and bass fiddle. It has so many names because it is so huge.

When electric currents go through them, guitars start making 
sounds. So would anybody.

Question: What are kettle drums called? Answer: Kettle 
drums.

Cymbals are round, metal CLANGS!

A bassoon looks like nothing I have ever heard.

Last month I found out how a clarinet works by taking it 
apart. I both found out and got in trouble.

Question: Is the saxophone a brass or a woodwind instrument? 
Answer: Yes.

The concertmaster of an orchestra is always the person who 
sits in the first chair of the first violins. This means 
that when a person is elected concertmaster, he has to hurry 
up and learn how to play a violin real good.

For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of 
every line of flute music. You just watch.

I can't reach the brakes on this piano!

The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up.

Anyone who can read all the instrument notes at the same 
time gets to be the conductor.

Instrumentalist is a many-purposed word for many 
player-types.

The flute is a skinny-high shape-sounded instrument.

The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the 
nose.

A contra-bassoon is like a bassoon, only more so.

Tubas are a bit too much.

Music instrument has a plural known as orchestra.

I would like for you to teach me to play the cello. Would 
tomorrow or Friday be best?

My favorite instrument is the bassoon. It is so hard to play 
people seldom play it. That is why I like the bassoon best.

It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip 
the neck and shake him in rhythm.

Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to 
make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed.

Source:  Missouri School Music Newsletter, collected by 
Harold Dunn. Posted From the [Good, Clean Funnies List]


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