Lee's Funnies

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next
when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy up
in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are
officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! Tell me,
how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation,
"there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Gerry, and the
entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes eight!"

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have a million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."

"Begorrah!" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war
is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.

"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor
from the farm."

Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have sixteen
thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armored personnel carriers, and my
army has increased to two million men since we last spoke."

"Really?" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, I am
sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," said Paddy "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all had
a chat, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."


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