Lee's Funnies

                                                          

               Things You’d Love to Say at Work, But Can’t!

1. Ahhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again ...

2. I don’t know what your problem is but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

7. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

8. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.

9. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

10. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

13. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

14. And your crybaby whinny-butt opinion would be ...?

15. Do I look like a people person?

16. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

18. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

19. A cubicle is just a padded cell with a door.

20. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?

21. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

22. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

23. Chaos, panic & disorder ---- my work here is done.

24. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

25. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks.


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