Lee's Funnies

                                                     

You don't have to be a spec writer to appreciate this one 
...

The U.S. standard railroad gauge (distance between the 
rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd 
number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they 
built them in England, and the U.S. railroads were built by 
English expatriates.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first 
rail lines were built by the same people who built the 
pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who 
built the tramways used the same jibs and tools that they 
used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they 
tried to use any other spacing, the wagons would break on 
some of the old, long-distance roads, because that is the 
spacing of the old wheel ruts.

So who built these old rutted roads? The first long-distance 
roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit 
of their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to 
match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made 
by roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for or 
by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel 
spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original questions. The U.S. 
standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from 
the original specifications for an Imperial Roman army war 
chariot. Specs and bureaucracies live forever.

So, the next time you are handed specifications and think 
that some horse's ass came up with them, you may be exactly 
right. Because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be 
just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war 
horses.


Click here to return to the main page