Lee's Funnies

                                                     

Vocabulary Builders

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the 
ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your 
toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when 
vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at 
least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, 
examining it, then putting it back down to give  the vacuum 
one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of 
candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming 
this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people 
maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater (airplane).

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to 
be swept onto the dust pan and keep backing a person across 
the room until he  finally decides to give up and sweep it 
under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man guy lay' shun) n. 
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so 
badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant 
whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners 
if they want ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a 
phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as 
they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window 
after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of 
always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick 
it up, even  when you're only six inches away.


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