Lee's Funnies

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Silent Night

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (As answered by elem. school students)        

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep
the chips and dip coming.

- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later
who you're stuck with.

- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.

- Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to
get married.

- Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids.

- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.

- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

- Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.

- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with
that.

- Curt, age 6

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone
to clean up after them.

- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

- Kevin, age 9

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

- Ricky, age 10


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