Drunk's Diagnosis
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her purchases in front of the cashier.
He said, "You must be single."
The woman, a bit startled, looked at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk said, "'Cause you're uglier 'n shit."