1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of your checks write, "for sexual favors."

7. Finish all of your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to-go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!! I won!! 3rd time this week!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity ...