Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician.

Horatio said, "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes."

Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed.

The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching powder and poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Nick the Dragon Slayer's mouth.

King Arthur summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer.

Nick the Dragon Slayer slipped the antidote lotion into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts.

Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment.

However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into King Arthur's loincloth.

King Arthur summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer ...

Moral of the story: Pay your bills.