A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step:

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?"

"I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all."

"This is absolutely amazing at your age," says the passer-by.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."