On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
    "We're #1 in the #2 business."
**************************

  Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
  **************************

  At a Proctologist's door
  "To expedite your visit please back in."
  **************************

  On a Plumber's truck:
  "We repair what your husband fixed."
  **************************

  On a Plumber's truck:
  "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
**************************

  Pizza Shop Slogan:
  "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
  **************************

  At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
  "Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

  On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
  "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
**************************

  At a Towing company:
  "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
  **************************

  On an Electrician's truck:
  "Let us remove your shorts."
  **************************

  In a Nonsmoking Area:
  "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
  **************************

  On a Maternity Room door:
  "Push. Push. Push."
**************************

  At an Optometrist's Office
  "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

  On a Taxidermist's window:
  "We really know our stuff."
  **************************

  In a Podiatrist's office:
  "Time wounds all heels."
  **************************

  On a Fence:
  "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
**************************

  At a Car Dealership:
  "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
  **************************

  Outside a Muffler Shop:
  "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
  **************************

  In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
  "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
  **************************

  At the Electric Company:
  "We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
  However, if you don't, you will be."
  **************************

  In a Restaurant window:
  "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
  **************************

  In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
  "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

  **************************
  At a Propane Filling Station,
  "Tank heaven for little grills."
  **************************

  And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
  "Best place in town to take a leak."