Steve Martin: "You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me neither."

Drew Carey: "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."

Woody Allen: "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

Rodney Dangerfield: "If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."

Rodney Dangerfield: "My wife said she'd like to have sex in the back seat of the car ... and she wanted me to drive."

George Burns: "It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."

George Burns: "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

Lynn Lavner: "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."