We preface the joke that follows with a list of actual comments made while a certain physician was performing colonoscopies.

• "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has ever gone before."
• "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
• "Can you hear me NOW?"
• "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
• "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
• "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
• "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
• "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey ..."
• "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
• "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
• "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
• "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
• "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

And now, our, feature attraction ... the Two Doctors funny!

Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not happy with the wording of the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go.

Next they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics." Thumbs down again. Then came "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Still not good. How about "Minds and Behinds?" Unacceptable.

So they tried "Lost Souls and Ass Holes," "Analysis and Anal Cysts," "Nuts and Butts," "Freaks and Cheeks." Nope! "Loons and Moons" didn't work either.

At their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with a business slogan that was acceptable to the council: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends."

-- Si vis amari, ama. (If you want to be loved, love.)

http://primepuzzle.com/leeslightest/two_doctors.html
Thursday, July 01, 2004 - 10:16:42 AM