Yet another list of wise sayings, puns, questions etc.

Yet another list of wise sayings, puns, questions etc. (Take One.)

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups?"
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Yet another list of wise sayings, puns, questions etc. (Take Two.)

The extra mile isn't half as long as all those other miles.
Is it too late for me to give back my tax cut and keep my Social Security?
Frustration is trying to find your glasses, without your glasses.
I wish that my sinuses could enjoy Springtime, as much as the rest of my body.
A genius is someone who is screwed up in a useful way.
Life is really like a shower. One wrong turn and you're in hot water.
Your sin, was it of omission, commission, or emission?
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless.
Recession = a time when you go without things your grandparents never heard of.
A grown-up = someone who suffers from responsibility.
If rabbits' feet are so lucky ... what happened to the rabbit?
Today everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.
They who are afraid to ask are ashamed of learning.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.

http://www.primepuzzle.com/leeslightest/yet_another_list.html
Monday, July 05, 2004 - 8:29:46 AM